Mary. 20 years old. SCAD. Photography and Graphic design, double major. Catholic and proud. All praise to the One who loves us perfectly.
Let me first apologize for hurting your feelings. Contrary to what that post may have led you to believe, I’m actually extremely body positive. That post was made out of anger, but I’m not going to take what I said back, because I firmly believe in everything I said. Now, before I’m berated with hate, let me clarify. I never said skinny shaming does not exist. I said that skinny shaming does not exist in the same level as fat shaming does. We live in a society where thin is glorified, and fat is disgusted. The second you turn on the TV you are berated with weight loss and fitness commercials. Society is obsessed with weight loss to the point where sometimes eating disorders are glorified. To me, comparing fat shaming and skinny shaming is like comparing racism against black people to racism against white people; there really is no racism against white people. I’m all for loving your body and I would never make a negative remark about someone else’s body, but until I see a TV commercial promoting fat, telling people to gain weight, and shaming skinny, I will hold fat shaming as an infinitely bigger problem than skinny shaming.
I was just on Facebook and I saw a girl claiming that “skinny shaming is just as bad as fat shaming.” FUCK NO. And let me tell you why you’re wrong through my own personal experiences.
1. I’ve been overweight my entire life due to metabolism problems and thyroid issues. When I was very young, our new neighbors came over to introduce themselves and I answered the door. My mom came to the door and I remember the husband looking at me, and then looking at my mom and saying “What do you feed this kid?” Suddenly I was no longer a little girl. I was a genderless fat thing that was being gawked at.
2. Middle school. I was probably in forth or fifth grade. I found out when a lot of the boys in my class hung out together, they made fun of how fat I was. I distinctly remember that none of them wanted to talk to me.
3. Middle school. I was part of the Girl Scouts and we were going to have a fashion show at a girls clothing store in the mall. I didn’t want to go and I told my mom “none of the clothes will fit me, and I’m not skinny or pretty like the other girls.” I went, wore only one outfit, and spent the rest of the time trying to hide my tears. I couldn’t have been older than 7.
4. Middle school. I was sitting watching a high school football game with one of my friends. Two boys about our age came up to me. One said “hey, this guy likes you. He loves fat girls!” The other promptly punched his friend in the arm and said “Ew dude! Gross!” And they ran away laughing. My friend didn’t know what to say other than “don’t listen to them.”
5. Middle school. I was at David’s Bridal. I was searching for a gown for a dance social I was a part of. The associates didn’t seem thrilled to help me, so I started searching for a gown myself. It wasn’t until one of them caught me frustratedly crying in one of the isles. She came up to me and said “oh honey, we have some dresses for bigger girls. Don’t worry.” I didn’t know if that was supposed to make me feel better, but it didn’t.
6. Freshman year of high school. There was a kid in my biology class that absolutely hated me, and I could never figure out why until one day his girl friend explained to me that he doesn’t like fat people.
7. Freshman year of high school. I stopped eating lunch at school. Part of it was decreased appetite due to a medication I was on, but a lot of it had to do with being embarrassed to eat in front of people. I was scared of being made fun of.
8. Freshman year of high school. I confessed to one of my best friends that I had a crush on a boy in our math class. She quickly told me that he doesn’t seem interested in girls “like me.” Within the next few weeks they started dating.
9. Sophomore year of high school. I started talking to a boy who I thought was out of my league. I confessed this to one of my friends. “Oh, no. He likes girls like you.” I’d become a fetish.
10. Sophomore year. I had one of my teachers compliment me on wearing clothes that “fit my body type.” Were certain types of clothes forbidden to me?
11. Junior year of high school. I started dating a boy much too old for me. Our first date he tried complimenting me by saying “I don’t usually like heavy girls, but…”
12. Junior year. I had a suicide attempt. People who found out assumed that it was because I hated the way I looked. Suddenly I was getting compliments like “you’re so beautiful, just the way you are.” Or “don’t listen to what anyone else says.” Did it ever occur to anyone that depression can be about something other than my appearance?
13. Senior year. My mom told me that there are guys out there who love fat girls. My own mother was fetishizing me.
14. Senior year. I was in the hall way when a group of boys started chanting “hefty! Hefty! Hefty!” at me.
This post is becoming incredibly lengthy, so I’ll stop here. College has been a much better experience for me, although I still struggle day to day with feeling insecure or discriminated against. Look at my stories above. I can’t recall ever hearing a skinny person having to go through the same shit that I, and other fat people have to go through on a day to day basis. Let me just clear this up. SKINNY SHAMING DOES NOT EXIST ON THE SAME SCALE THAT FAT SHAMING DOES. NO ONE ENVEYS FAT PEOPLE. The phrase “skinny shaming” shouldn’t even exist. If you’d like to argue with me, feel free, but nothing can convince me otherwise.
"fat girls shouldn’t—"
—have to deal with your narrow minded bullshit.